"Rain"

“Rain”

Wash Me

Cleanse Me

Purify Me

I am Renewed, Refreshed, Rejuvenated

Your Power Impacts Me

Fills Me

Heals Me

I Welcome You

Rain On Me!

A Sprinkle, A Mist, A Storm

I welcome you,

I hear you on my window

And at my door

I welcome you

And all you represent:

Abundance

Life

Growth

Maturity

Strength

Change

I welcome you

I accept your Purpose

And Will for my life

Rain on me…

As The Seasons Change, So Must We

Rae Luvs 2 Write- Special Autumn and My Birthday Edition!
As the Seasons Change, So Must We!

Happy Fall Everyone! And Happy Birthday to Me (Friday)! Today is the official first day of Autumn. Where I live, it has been looking and seeming like Fall for about a week now. Lots of rain…and gray skies…I was starting to think that it was Winter with all of the gray, but by the time I would get dressed and go outside it was still hot…and some days cool. Just getting us ready for change. At first, I was resistant. I must confess, I slept in (late) a few days because of the rain…I just couldn’t snap out of it or into it…I’ve been thinking…isn’t this what life is like sometimes? Different seasons in our lives?…sometimes changes occur rapidly. Other times, change is slow. Regardless of how we may feel about change, it is the only constant in our lives even when or if it doesn’t look or feel like it. As for this current season we are in, for farmers this is harvest time for corn, pumpkins, squash, beans, and wild rice, the chief Native American staples, all the things we love to eat during this time of year! So tell me, what are you harvesting in your life? A new season, no matter which season, is the beginning of some things and the ending of others. So what is new in your life? Sometimes you can’t see it yet because it is not quite time. For example, just because today is the first day of Fall doesn’t mean that all of the leaves will be a different color tomorrow. So whatever the seeds are that you have been sowing in your life, do not give up on them. Since we are in the harvest season, there is plenty of time for these things to sprout and grow into fruition. Embrace this new season of change!

Now how about your love life? Now you know I’m not going to leave you without commenting on love in this new harvest season. Are you having a love harvest? If not, again, keep watering those seeds. Here is a quick guide to love in any season; We’ll call it Rae’s Quick Seasonal Love Guide:


Fall = Fun, Football, Friends

Winter = Cozy, Cabin Fever, Cuddling

Spring = Flirty, Flowers

Summer = Playful, Pool Parties


Let me know what you think!! Or if you have suggestions for loving and finding love in any season (Particularly this one).

Speaking of Summer, now we must say goodbye. So here’s an Ode to Summer to help us welcome in the new season.

An Ode to Summer

By India Arie

“Summer”

Goodbye summer hate to see you go

I wasn't ready for autumn wind to blow

So lonely

We had a fine time holding hands in June

Warm in a sunshine watching love in bloom

Where are you now?

My heart is frozen in this place

waiting for another summer's day

to bring you back my way

Hello winter, watch the swirling snow

I didn’t have a blanket for the cold

So lonely now

My heart is frozen in this place

waiting for another summer's day

to bring you back my way

I'll be waiting under the poplar tree

anticipating when you'll come back to me

in the spring, in the spring yeah

Hello summer kiss from my old friend

been such a long time, tell me how you've been

so lonely now

My heart is frozen in this place

waiting for another summer's day

to bring you back my way

Goodbye summer hate to see you go

Also, check out the link below if you are interested in fun Autumn topics!


http://www.farmersalmanac.com/topics/autumn

Digital Love

Has technology enhanced or complicated our love and dating relationships?

Now this is a topic I have been wanting to discuss for some time. When you hear the phrase, what do you automatically think? E-harmony? Match.com? Facebook? Myspace? Online dating...Internet dating…the virtual hook-up…well whatever you think of, it’s all the same. Do you really think that people are “networking” on myspace and facebook? (Some are…either that or being nosy, trying to see what past lovers are up to and if he or she is married/in a relationship what have you) That’s just something you say when you don’t want to seem desperate for a date…”networking” yeah I’m making some assumptions here…lol Anyway, how is the digital environment affecting the dating scene? I will tell you my thoughts, and then let me know what you think.

I think online dating/mating is and can be fun. Yes, I’ve tried it! Lol “networking”. If you’ve never met the person before, it can be a lil scary, especially upon the first meeting. You don’t know what to expect, and you pray that the person is really who they say they are or the same person as the picture on their profile. Beware of people who try to “holla” who don’t post a pic at all. I don’t think anyone is that silly, but you never know. If you are meeting someone you met online for the first time in person, please bring a friend…and try not to just make it a “hook-up” unless that’s just what you are on (protect yourself).

Some of the benefits of the digital love world include e-mail, texting, instant messaging, and video/camera phones and web cams (I don’t have one of those), these amenities aid in keeping in touch especially for long distance relationships. Yes, we’ve come along way from the pen pal method. This works if you met the person out and about or online. The only disadvantage is that sometimes these methods can replace the need for “real” time or even just time on the phone. Believe you me, “there is nothing like the real thing baby” so the lil cute daily texts and e-mails are enough to sustain you while you’re at work or doing whatever it is that you do. When it’s all said and done though, these ways of communicating get you ready for the real time. Do you agree?

In reality, some relationships need not go any further than digital. Sometimes it’s just flirting…but when signals get crossed it can become hazardous…I mean you could really be feeling a person, but do you really know them if you’ve never really spent time with them or even talked to them on the phone? The digital world does help us with our busy schedules. Sometimes it’s just easier to drop a quick e-mail than actually spend time on the phone. This type of communication has turned me into a non-phone person. When it comes down to it, dating digitally or physically is just like this song my girl always sings “if your heart isn’t in it…” But it’s true…”where your treasure (time, money…emphasis mine) is, there also will your heart be” (Matt 6:21). So what are you making an investment in? Are you really just networking and having fun, or are you really trying to get to know someone? Or just making an online booty call? LOL! Regardless of your dating methods, the intentions of your heart will be revealed.

Is It Okay?

Is it okay that some days I’m not feeling myself?

Is it okay that some days I fear losing you?

Is it okay that some days I feel like I’m dreaming?

Is it okay that some days I don’t trust you?

Is it okay that some days I don’t feel I deserve your love?

Is it okay that I’m like this because of my past hurts?

Is it okay that you may have to work extra hard to get me to believe in us?

Tell me is it okay?

Is it okay that I think I’m in love with you?

Is it okay that I want to move away from my present to be in your presence?

Is it okay that I want to be with you?

Is it okay that I dream about you in the day and night?

Is it okay that I can see myself being your wife?

Tell me is it okay?

The Focus

Falling in love is not the focus…not right now…my life purpose is way more important right now. It is my hope that you will become apart of my purpose…but you are not the focus…the focus is me…my Creator…my destiny…my duty…what’s your focus?…my focus is to love…me and you…and what I do…one thing at a time…let’s fall in line…together…let’s love…let’s share…let’s make a difference in the world…together or apart…you are in my heart…but not my main focus…I do love you…but I do love me…and who I am to be in this world…friends’ love last longer than lovers’ anyway…you’re my lover and my friend…let’s focus on being friends right now…we’ll have plenty of time to make love…when the work is done…I’m working on me and you’re working on you…what a blessing to still have a heart connection without the stress…we have mutual understanding and respect…no better feeling between the two…just focus…see what I see…the big picture…the symphony sounds better once each individual note has been mastered…if I don’t do my part and you don’t do yours…our music will not blend…it will end in discord…we’ve both been there before…so right now I’ll just focus on mastering me instead of seeking to manipulate you to give me what I need…I give to myself…I receive what you give…I allow you the freedom to be you…and I freely give to you too…

Love Is Everywhere

Have you checked your love bank account today? Is it full or empty? Do you need more love in your life? Well if you look around you, love is everywhere! Love within or self-love, love from God, love from family, love from friends, love from animals. You see what I mean? Love is everywhere! If you are ever feeling depleted in this area, or maybe suffering from insufficient love funds, just take a look around. If you still don’t see the love or feel the love, how much love are you giving? What you give will be given unto you. I firmly believe in this principle. It may not come to you from the person who you are giving to, but it will come or is already present. You deserve love; especially God’s love. How can you live without love? Remember, love is everywhere and God is love. Love is within you. So give give give love and you will have a full love account and will receive so much love in return! Just look for the love. Sometimes it can become overwhelming, but we are all in this cycle together. The person who you love so dearly that may not be reciprocating in a way familiar to you or in the way that you give should not be deleted from your love cycle (unless it becomes too emotionally unstable). As you give to this person, you may receive many surprises along the way and/or secret admirers; people or persons you would not even notice or choose to love. So the love always comes back to you. I am speaking from experience. How can you not love someone who is loving you? Someone who is so endearing toward you? You may decide that I just don’t love this person the same way he or she loves me. It is clear to set some sort of boundaries so that you are not leading a person on into thinking that the relationship is more than what it is. Hopefully, you and the person can come to some type of terms for what the relationship means for the two of you. Words unspoken can be very hurtful.

So to keep the good karma coming in, try your best to establish love boundaries. Receive the love and reciprocate the best way you know how. Being in love and/or loving is a beautiful thing! Fill up your love account today!

Lovin' Me

I’m feelin’ myself…
Like never before…
This isn’t arrogance
Or false confidence
It’s Love…
Real Love…

I’ve waited my whole life for this moment
A Rebirth
I’m lovin’ everything about me too
Every curve, every blemish
And every kink

So cheers to all the jerks who didn’t want me
And thanks to the fools who let me go
I love me and that’s all that matters
30 is not the new 20,
Baby it’s better!!

Damn...

Damn…the chemistry is amazin’…
I know you feel it too…
You want me…just like I want you
But I’m not talkin’ bout sex…
I mean yeah that’s half of it…
But the other half is just into you...

Don’t do me like this…make me feel this love…
‘Cause what you got, is hard to come by…
Everybody wants some of that…
I got it too…you best believe it
Indescribable…
Words ain’t enough…
It’s a feelin’…

You know what I’m talkin’ bout?
What we got, makes the sex even better…
Let’s take it slow…relax our minds
Build up anticipation…cause you know I’m waitin’
I want you…for real…you know what I’m on…
Some real shit

Let me make love to you…every part of you
Your body…your soul…your mind…your heart
It’s gettin’ deep before we even start…
Tell me…are you scared?
‘Cause I am…
I never wanna be hurt again…

Dating as We Age

I was just thinking…is dating getting better as I age? I say yes! Sure I’ve had those days of reflection, and I think that I should have been married or had children by now, but there comes a time when most individuals unmarried especially reach a point or let’s call it a plateau. There is a point where a person feels like “whatever happens happens”. Not to thwart your heart’s desires or plans, but this type of attitude gives a person more patience while waiting for their Mr. or Mrs. Right. As I approach my 29th birthday, (so old right? just kidding) I now finally understand what everyone says when they say, oh just wait and/or just keep working on yourself, just keep on loving yourself. Hey, it finally all makes sense. All those horrible clichés no one wants to hear when they are in search of their Mr. Right. You know I’ve heard it all. Focus on yourself, find out what you like…blah, blah, blah. The reality is these sayings are so true. I’ve even heard, how can you truly love someone else if you don’t completely love yourself. I have to admit that one never really made sense to me because don’t we all have the ability to love our selves and others? But what that means is like on an airplane. They tell you to make sure you have your oxygen mask on first before you start trying to help those surrounding you. Okay, I love that analogy. How can I love on someone else if I dislike everything about me? And when you really love yourself, others can’t help but see what you see or feel the vibrations you give off. And if they don’t see what you see then you know what I always say “kick rocks” chump!! Lol

But yes, my outlook on dating is definitely becoming better as I age and as I continue to work on and love me. Like fine wine baby. How long does it take to get to this point? It is different for everyone. Not to be egotistical, but just to really develop an attitude of accepting nothing but the best from the people in your life or whom you date. It may take some people to have children before they reach this point or to encounter divorce. Some get this while they’re still young others long after 30 and maybe some never get it. But it is a beautiful feeling to possess; just being happy with yourself and still expecting to attract a wonderful mate. When you and your potential mate are both at this point in life, you can do nothing but make beautiful music together. You both realize your own worth, each others’ worth, and that you both deserve the best out of life and from each other. There is nothing like having this mutual respect and the union will be blessed.

Furthermore, on this plateau, some have discovered that being married is not apart of their life’s purpose. They have become very content with themselves or their work. They may realize that they don’t want to have children or be married, but possibly still date people or just one person. There is nothing wrong with this because married life isn’t for everyone. The key is to make sure that you are happy with your life whatever path you choose.

The Bachelor

I’ve been away for a minute, but now I’m back. I’ve been incurring some inner changes and thought processes, actually taking those chill pills right now. So you know I have to get my VH1 “reality” dating show time in and currently the Bachelor is airing. I haven’t been keeping up with it so I caught it last night and there were six women left. By the end of the episode, he could only give away four roses. Poor guy, he was having a difficult time deciding between six beautiful, intelligent, and hardworking women. So after watching this I’m thinking isn’t this what real life dating feels like sometimes, especially when you’re single? Many women all vying for the same guy; or vice versa as in the case of the Bachelorette. At the end of the show I had to reflect. I felt bad for one of the older women, Heather age 30. She was so into this guy, I think his name is Aaron. I mean she was pouring her heart out on national TV for a guy I’m sure she hasn’t known that long. Not that there’s something wrong with having those feelings for someone you haven’t been dating that long, but she was going all out on TV! You should have seen the expressions that Aaron was making when Heather was trying to get up under him in the Jacuzzi. She was kissing all on him and the guy was looking so disgusted! LOL! Poor girl!

During the rose ceremony, she was looking so depressed like she knew she was going to get cut. Aaron even said in his one on one with the camera that he was not attracted to her. Personally, I thought she was the prettiest lady there well one of the prettier ones, but what does this tell you? Looks are not everything. Guys can sense when you don’t have it together in the head. There is a vibe that is given off. Confidence is way more attractive. I mean even for guys. Women don’t really seem to be as attracted to the clingy man. I think we all want and need a little clinginess at times, but not to the point of feeling smothered. Heather was ready to get married yesterday, and Aaron just wasn’t feeling her and he couldn’t force himself to. I felt badly for her because I know how she felt. At the end of the show she was really crying her eyes out and saying “what’s wrong with me?” Aaron knew that Heather thought something was wrong with herself. I say, her problem was thinking that something was wrong with herself. It is better for people to understand that everyone is not going to like you, and you can’t force someone to like you. Sure you can try to manipulate someone, but in the end your true colors and theirs will always surface. The key is to be confident and to keep believing that the right person for you is out there. If you don’t believe it, then it will never happen. You have to release happy thoughts into the universe while continuously working on yourself and keeping your image and your Spirit in an attractive manner. So ladies, before you find yourself having a “Heather” moment at 30 or anytime, just remember, “I’m okay” and, hey if a man doesn’t pick me then so be it.

I did realize that Aaron was way more attracted to the youngest woman, Brooke age 22 and the meanest woman, Helene I think her name was she may have been 27. I include this to say, I’m realizing that men of all ages enjoy and appreciate some innocence about a woman and possibly a mean streak, but not too mean. Heather thought that Brooke being so young was holding her back, but actually Brooke’s youthful way seemed to make Aaron light up a little. So be yourself, but realize that a youthful glow will give you brownie points. It’s more about what’s going on inside of you rather than how you actually look or wear your hair…again, your Spirit, it will shine through…believe it or not.

As for the mean girl, she seemed to sort of get on his nerves. She was a little negative, which the other lady Hayley, I think that’s her name, who was cut thought was going to get Helene cut. Actually, Helene had the advantage because she forced Aaron to keep it real with the women and himself. His goal was to not lead anyone on. Helene challenged him and kept saying that she is not going to work too hard or just really put herself out there with her feelings if there is no guarantee. Her attitude allowed him to check his true feelings about all of the women and realize how “serious” the dating game was becoming.

I say that real life dating is similar to this show because you can be casually dating two or more people and like and appreciate different aspects about each person. In college, once a guy told me that dating too many women was becoming too expensive. You don’t have to spend money to have creative fun dates. You can go to free events, museums, parks and things like that. At the end of the day the Bachelor or Bachelorette, has to decide which person is for them and just hope that the feelings are mutual. I would hope that people would not just date in vain, but also that is something that can be established early on. It is good to know what you want from someone or what that person ultimately wants from you just to keep the lines clear. Some of my friends (guys and ladies) have said, and we’re all around the same age, that they don’t casually date. Whoever they are involved with is someone they can see themselves marrying. This makes sense to me, but I would want to make sure that the person I’m dating feels the same way. Just like having those check points. The downside is that some people will never fully disclose how they really feel out of fear of losing you especially if they don’t see themselves marrying you. Actually, that is unfair. I would say pray to discern what’s really going on so that there are no surprises. Often times, we intrinsically know where a relationship is heading after the first couple of dates. Just protect your heart and feelings, but not to the point of showing no emotion although that’s how some people operate. Just my thoughts. That’s all for the day! Thanks for tuning in!

The Best Kiss Ever...

I can’t even remember feelin’ this way about anyone…since I’ve met you I don’t want anyone else…you must have put a spell on me…I can’t stand not being around you…but I think I’ve fallen in love with you…your Spirit…and your Soul…when you kiss me…I swear I melt…your lips taste so good to me…I wanna be able to kiss you forever…is that selfish of me? I think that you were made for me…I hope this is not an illusion…if so, I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts…why is that when I think about you I get so emotional? Tears come to my eyes…I can’t explain it…but I know that when I’m with you…and when I think about you…something comes over me…something Supernatural…like I’ve made contact with another world…if this is love…this is new for me…I’m drunk…and high off of you…is this feeling enough to sustain the distance…the good and the bad? I hope you feel it too…I pray for you…I pray all your dreams and desires come to pass in your life…that I’m someone you could share your life with…you think you could grow old with me? Have we already done so in another life? I’m so glad we found each other…kiss me…kiss me…and never stop…I’m yours forever…

Developing a Thick Skin

I swear me having a BIG EGO is not an overstatement!! I have to laugh at myself sometimes…LOL ;-) You ever just feel like “I’m the SHIT” so why isn’t such and such giving me the play. The truth here is that the such and such I speak of is someone who I never should have given the “play”. In an effort to continue whatever we started, I have called and texted. I was successful in my pursuit too…but let’s just say that when the night ended, baby I was going home alone…hilarious to me…but it’s okay…my Ego, let’s call her “Latrece” just for fun and laughs…was hurt, devastated and shocked…not to mention no real companionship in three weeks (if you know what I mean)…almost four now…SMH…by choice of course…you know when you choose…you choose because the options are always present…I think…that’s Latrece talking again.

I’m going to make this one short today…so over the weekend I learned “when it’s over it’s over”. It doesn’t matter what you do…if someone is done fooling with you, they are just done…I now understand why Jazmine Sullivan busted the windows out the fellas car…I know how that feels to want to do just that…but watch out for Karma ladies…Have you ever found yourself cussing out someone on his voice mail or sending threatening text messages? With no return calls or texts? OMG…that was me…at the end of the day when you go home and lay it down…turn off your phone and wake up to a new day you realize okay…I’m cool now…I feel better now…everything for a reason. Makes me wanna delete this brother from my phone…I swear…

At the end of the day though…a host of rejection experiences have allowed me to develop a very thick skin…those who know me best know my sensitivities…but I’ve been through so much now in dating relationships that I’m like…I’m strong enough to withstand almost anything…anything that anyone tries to do to me…shoot has already been done…WOW! I just look back over my young adult life and just don’t even know or understand how I made it through…and how I’m still here…still hoping and believing that LOVE is still possible for me!! Let me tell you though…when God is the SOURCE anything is possible…I’m DIVINELY healed as well! Isn’t it amazing how God can just allow you to go through the fire and come out shining like pure gold?! So I thank and praise Him for that…and am learning to not sweat the small stuff…let my Ego go and know that what’s best for me is on the way…so all the JERKS have to be removed…Mr. Right Now can kick rocks!! LOL!

Blessings to you all!!

--Rae

It Hurts...

Call me emotional, but it hurts when…

You don’t call when you say you will…
When you don’t return my phone calls…
When you don’t text me back…
When you don’t make it your business to see me…

It just hurts a little…just a little sting because what I want and what’s reality doesn’t line up.
It hurts to know that I made some sacrifices all because I wanted to see you and be with you…
But you were too “busy” to notice or care…

It just hurts a little…just a little sting…

When I think about you all day everyday and even see you in my dreams…and still no sign of you.
It hurts because I choose not to make a fool of myself and keep trying to contact you…
It just hurts that I can’t even talk to you when I want to…
It hurts because I still don’t know you and you still don’t know me, yet I gave myself to you…

My body, my mind, my time…and my heart…I felt so connected…started to get that Soul Mate feeling…but what did you feel?
I don’t know…maybe you thought I was a “joke” or joking…

So it just hurts a little…just a little sting…

Distant Lover

I think I’m gaining an understanding of having my heart stolen, captured, and left in another city or cities. Have you ever felt this way? This feeling of wanting to be with someone who is thousands of miles away…It’s like being sprung…in one sense, being single means just love locally or date locally or enjoy being with the one or ones who are close to you…but love knows no boundaries…when you love someone or we’ll just say extremely like, you want to be with, talk to that person everyday in every way you can…despite boundaries. Do some people shy away from distant relationships because of this feeling? Create a sense of detachment out of fear of not being able to get to the one they want to be with. I haven’t felt this way in a long time…just giving up the locals for someone distant…how does this happen? I think for women it’s easier to give up the locals more so than men, but I may be wrong ;-) “If you can’t have the one you love, love the one you’re with”…sounds like something a man would say…would you truly be happy in doing so? Or maybe that song actually means, you better love who loves you…but ok, I’m seeking something mutual here…lol So the other day, I decided to listen to some Marvin Gaye. “Distant Lover” this song explains it all…I mean it sounds like he had a summer love, and they had to depart from one another. Seasonal lovers…it’s like trying to turn a season into a lifetime. So as we continue to search or not search for love…which in actuality throughout this journey we continuously learn about ourselves and ultimately if we did not possess that self love, find “that” in the search. Inherently, the lesson is to not give your heart away too soon…some type of trust and understanding of communication should be established first…in situations near or far.

So I am learning, but I also see why it takes some people a long time to trust, love, or give away their hearts. I’m not saying not to love or trust, but when you do love so freely, openly, honestly, everyone is not ready to or doesn’t receive it…so you can love by letting them go or developing a sense of detachment…only a detachment that protects yourself but does not hurt others’ feelings. It can be a catch 22. The lesson: love yourself…sounds overrated, but it is true…when you love yourself, it doesn’t matter what someone does or doesn’t do to you or for you. You have already taken care of yourself…

Hmm…in loving someone who is distant or being/acting distant, one may wonder, what is the point of loving or having someone who you can’t be with or see or talk to? Again, I guess the point is more so to learn about yourself. There is something called a “love language”. We don’t all possess the same one. Someone who is acting distant may just have a different love language than you. Okay so that’s a positive. In my mind, I’m thinking…”if he doesn’t call/text…stalk or etc. everyday, something is wrong with him…should I take a hint…he doesn’t love me or let alone like me”…but it’s like when we’re together…everything is perfect and roses or when we do talk…so there is definitely something off in the communication…or maybe I’m just reading too much into what seems to me like a lack of communication. Now if the stalker was someone that I didn’t like, then I’d be annoyed…a catch 22. Kind of a sad situation because I want things to be one way, but in the reality of my mind they are this way…long distance…not committed…hmm…don’t talk/text everyday…detached. Again what’s the point or purpose?

Maybe I’m void in the department of self-love, which is why I seek an outside source of love…hmmm? Ok, just maybe…maybe I need to re-focus, change my focus. Again, just let this person go…allow them to be free and to communicate their love language to me or not…I’ve already communicated mine…even if they don’t care, don’t receive and are not listening. Do I change or alter my love language? Feel bouts of sadness from having withdrawals of him? Find someone else to love? The answer to these questions is NO!! Be yourself, cheer up, and love you!! Change takes time, but we must work on it everyday. Self-improve…read, work out, stay busy, work on career, hang with family and friends, date others (if you’re feeling up to it)…there’s a lot to do while sitting around waiting for the one you love to call…the one who already knows how you feel about him…I am not one to hide my feelings, but I can’t control what someone does with that info. I don’t know his reaction. He says that the feelings are mutual, but I don’t see that in his actions.

Again, I’m learning…more so about me than anything or anyone else…my aim is to be free from all of my anxieties…to get through this process and come out loving myself more…knowing myself best…expecting the best in life and from others…but also with the reality that things happen and that I can’t change someone and that regardless of what I do or say, people are going to be and do themselves anyway with or without my love. Right now, I’m reluctant to start anything new or rekindle anything old. I’m not up for it. I just want to do me…and work on me…I know that I’ve fallen in love with someone…but is it really love…okay so I won’t say in love, but that I do love someone…again though…”if it isn’t love, then say what it is” lol…another song. Seriously, it may feel like love, but it could be infatuation…the opposite would be unconditional love which involves the ability of sacrifice…would I give this person a lung…an arm…a kidney…whoa!! So maybe it’s not love…it’s a good feeling, but not when it’s not reciprocated the way I expect it. So I would like to see where these feelings lead me with this person…maybe it will just be “history” or something to go in the “friend” file…which is okay with me right now ;-) It hurts a little…but who said that growing had to feel good…I know that I will look back on these experiences a changed woman…a “grown” woman…a wise woman…and someone who is at peace about my life for choosing to not harden my heart despite what people do or don’t do.

"Divine Appointments"

I believe in “Divine Appointments”. My Life Mentor first introduced me to this concept. Divine appointments can occur in relationships with family and friends, love relationships as well as people you don’t know (those you meet in passing or those you meet for the first time)…have some of us unknowingly entertained angels ;-)? Divine appointments are unplanned events/meetings with people…Regarding love relationships, this can be a joyous time! It’s like really liking someone, wanting to see them or talk to them and they walk by or call! It’s like praying and searching for your soul mate, and meeting him or her the next day. God and our Angels set these things in motion…whether this person is here for a season or a lifetime, they come into your life for a purpose…it is something that you can feel in your soul. You know what you need, and they are there to provide it…it could be in conversation, exchange of ideas, healing, networking…you name it…you learn something in all these divine appointments.

I have been encountering several of these lately…with many people…not just love interests. I have also been getting in tune with my Angels. Google Doreen Virtue and you will know what I’m talking about. Our angels will help us bring desires to pass. Regarding love, I’ve often gone in with “rose-colored” glasses on…hmm…doesn’t that feel like the best of times? It is important to maintain communication with your love interest so that you will know if you are both on the same page. Lack of communication is one of the things that make dating and relationships so difficult. What happens when you take off your tinted shades? When all the truth is revealed? Will you be able to love unconditionally? Will you be able to let someone go if their season in your life has ended? We must pray everyday and hope for the best in our dating life, and constantly conduct self-checks. It’s like checking in with yourself and then checking in with your love interest. There is so much deception to look out for…you have to make sure that you are being real with yourself and real with others. The “love” feeling is definitely a scary one and a good one at the same time. We have to be able to love openly and accept truth. Enjoy Divine Appointments while they last and learn, learn, learn…and love, love, love…

"Mr. Right"

So I've been bumping the new Chrisette Michele in my car lately. My favorite song so far is entitled "Mr. Right". So now I'm thinking...hmmm...who is my Mr. Right? Because Mr. Right for one is not Mr. Right for all... Well, you know I'm taking a break from the dating scene, well attempting to...in the Summer time? :-( Booooo! I already told you about "Boos on Deck" lol...are any of them Mr. Right though...I'm remaining open to meeting him and maybe I've already met him...but I'm also just gonna take a chill pill...especially after those recent events that I've already told you about. So who is your Mr. or Ms. Right? Is he or she right in front of your face and you don't know it. Right now, I feel like I don't even have a clue. Wise people say, don't look...hmmm...what do you think?

Tirelessly Dating or Tiredly Dating??

One of my latest Facebook status messages reads “Raechel L. Rivers is tired and done with the "Dating Game"...too many "Players", too many "Losers", not enough "Winners"...or "Real" Champions. But I'm still All that and a Bag of Chips...if they can't see that...they must be blind...Kick Rocks Chumps!!” And then I went on to further post a comment that reads “Thanks Boo...see I'm feeling really unChristianlike...MFs losing their minds...but see when that Oprah $ starts rolling in they're gonna wish they didn't pass up the chance to be Mr. Rivers! LOL...I've been wanting to say that all day...What these N's really thinkin'?...the older I get the more I don't give a you know what...bout to put some brothas on blast!! ;-)”

This brings me to today’s topic…which I’ve been trying to vent about for weeks now…some recent events have projected me to go forth and tell it on this subject. Where to begin? To some, it may seem as though I’m tirelessly dating…not giving up on the scene and all that good stuff…giving all types of brothas a chance…yeah, what happened to have high standards right?? Hmm…I’ll come back to that later. The truth is I’m tiredly dating; well now I am. A wise friend once said in regard to having sex outside of marriage…you will stop once you’re tired. Hmm, so having unsuccessful relationships which involve sex outside of marriage is obviously hazardous to me…my well being…so why would I keep thinking that I could be successful when engaging in them?? Maybe because of society who makes it seem like this is okay…”sex outside of marriage”. I’m so tired of this topic…I’ve been speaking on it for years. Let’s see we have “Sex in the City”…I know couples who have children before even getting married…I’m thinking they made it work…why not me?

The truth is what works for some doesn’t work for all…or maybe I just haven’t found the “one”. Ok, now what does that mean? The One. Okay so now we have Steve Harvey and others telling ladies to wait 90 days…WTF? If I’m a freak and you’re a freak, let’s get it on! (Marvin Gaye) We can get to know each other later right? Wrong? Again, it just depends on the individuals. We would all like to be “good” Christians and wait until marriage for sex and/or to have children, but it doesn’t always happen that way. Due to our impulsivity to give in to the natural instinct of having sex and also unprotected sex…there is nothing natural about condoms especially latex ones. But this day in age you already know the STD speech.

Now this leads me to the story of my recent events…and why I’m done with the “Dating Game”. Well trying to be…

Okay, let me first start off by saying that single people who are dating or looking for and making themselves available for the “one”…should always keep some Boos on deck…lol, no I’m being serious. If you are not in a committed relationship, you should have options. You think I’m right or wrong? Anyway, so I don’t have a main Boo, but I have some Boos on deck…I will not say how many…Here is a good analogy; Love and Basketball…there are about five or six players on the bench…they each have their positions. I wish I could just put them all together to form Mr. Right! Anyway, sometimes these “Players” get traded you know, because they F up…become unprofitable…all that good stuff. Men don’t like to hear about women having a team of men…but do I care? No!! Some of them have teams of women…At this point, I don’t even care about the team because I’m giving up the “Game” turning in my “Player Card”.

I told an old guy friend recently that I live this way because I haven’t met that one dude who says “look Raechel, I want you, we are going to be together and that’s that”…still waiting to get to this point in life…it’s coming soon…I CAUGHT THE BOUQUET at my friend’s wedding over the weekend too!! Woo Hoo!! Anyway, this friend of mine who at one point I considered apart of my team goes on to say that I don’t know my role or something like that because you know I wasn’t trying to hear what he had to say. Trying to tell me about myself. I know that men want to be in control. But am I supposed to just wait around for one guy (possibly the main Boo) who can’t decide if I’m his Ms. Right…no commitment to the relationship. If we are not even girlfriend and boyfriend, how can I look for you to give me a ring…KICK ROCKS…so back to the other Boos on deck right?!

So something happened to me recently…I am ashamed to say. I was intimate with someone…it wasn’t the first time…but it had been a minute…why the next day after…I’m calling this man…texting him…no response…so I’m thinking WTF? How you gonna act like we didn’t just sleep together? Like it was nothing? So when I saw him out…he was cool…said that he had been busy all day…mmmhmmh…so I let that go because you know there are other Boos on deck, but I have a very BIG EGO and those who know me know this…So the next day…I called and texted again…no response until later and after I started to seem like a worried and concerned stalker…(all the reassurance I need is for my Ego, she gets me in trouble). Why this brother now has an attitude with me? The hostility was beaming through the text messages and through the phone conversation!! Those of you who know me know I’m terrible with confrontation (face-to-face and on the phone), but I will text and e-mail you to death until I feel like I’ve won! He doesn’t know who he’s messing with right?!!

I was just really trying to keep some type of contact with him…this is what people do when they’re intimate with each other right? So what did I do to him that was so wrong? Ol’ Mr. Busy! You are not that busy to return a phone call…I would have been satisfied with at least a text…so I’m still trying to figure this fella out. I’m just like, why wouldn’t you want to talk to me? So really I’m feeling like what a Jerk!!

There is something new that I’ve created called the “Cookies” vs. the “Cookie Dough”. For all you smart people, what is cookie dough? Raw! Right! Have you ever given someone your cookie dough and regretted that? Just let me know what’s up and what you think about that?

(Left out some details here...)

Now do you understand why I’m retiring? But just like Michael Jordan and JayZ, I’ll be back. I love men too much…but I just need a break because it’s just not being reciprocated right now. I know that no one can love me better than me…I need to start exercising these affirmations…Also love lives inside of me…this is something that must be lived, eaten, and breathed so that the love I have for me can attract the One. I’m not gonna lie I like having Boos on deck, but it’s just not that serious sometimes…everybody seems to be searching, but no one seems to be finding…hmm, is it that we are so intrinsically dissatisfied with self that we do not recognize him or her when he or she arrives? That’s deep…

I got me a Boo in holding…that I truly adore…we definitely have a connection, but it’s long distance. I also have me a Boo that my mom likes, but I don’t think she understands how crazy he is…I would rather just keep him in the friend category until further notice…

Well folks, I will keep you updated on the Boo Saga…until then…my Boo in holding has been so inspiring…I love the way he makes me feel…brotha got me writing 100 poems a week…just kidding…is it possible to love someone you hardly ever see or talk to? Do we at times put people on pedestals or romanticize a person without knowing them fully? Whatever the purpose of long distance Boo is…it doesn’t matter…I just seek positive connections with “real” people. (especially men…I have many girl friends…I’d be lost without my Chicas) How can a man be real with you when he is not being real with himself?


Good Night! Smoochez!

Here’s something I started but didn’t finish:

“Good Luv”

Good luv will make you relocate
Not good sex, good luv
Have you experienced this?
Good luv will make you high…
It’s good for you, for your soul…

--Destiny ©2009

Love Jones

Wooing my infatuation…thinking of a Master Plan to make you mine…

Not by force or desperation…just smart enough to know it may take some time

Patience…just let me love you

Loving you is what keeps me alive

Without love I'm just existing…

But with love…I'm beautiful, powerful, vibrant, motivated…

I'm here for the long-run…til time runs out of time

Or our season together comes to an end…

My Everything…my friend…

Whatever you need…please don't look any further…

It's me…as long as you let me be…

If you can receive…I'm here to give…

So wide open…

I don't want to be…

But I'm so caught up…

It supersedes the physical realm

What I feel comes from a place so spiritually unreal…

That my words cannot explain…

I know it's not in vain,

I know it's meant to be for this moment in time…

I had to experience this thing…

You…

--Destiny © 2009

"Have High Standards"

Just a little something for the ladies...I know that some of us have been through some tough times so here is just a little encouragement.


“Have high standards…and they will be there.”

In regard to dating…You never know what people have been through…my co-worker age 35 recently revealed to me that she was married twice before marrying her current Husband. Prior to me knowing this about her, I thought…wow…she has it all…married to a Professor…baby on the way…working on her Doctorate…You Go Girl…me looking through envious eyes…and especially on the days that I drank my haterade…

But now I’m thinking…you never know what people have been through…abuse…mean men…men focused more on themselves than you…the list is endless…My coworker said now she has no complaints…Hubby number 3 is “perfect”…I said well, “I pray for a Husband like that”. She said that she did. I told her that she is blessed…and that’s when she revealed the history of her failed relationships.

So I asked her for some advice and she simply said, “Have high standards…and they will be there.” I mean this simple sentence put some things into perspective for me…It just means don’t settle…stop doing all the bending…and thinking that something is wrong with you…No commitment…tell him to kick rocks!! LOL! But for real…maybe “he’s just not that into you”…

But someone else surely will come along…I mean…as long as you believe…and realize that you are too smart to deal with someone who treats you like you’re worthless…

Well, let me stop preaching to the choir…


Signing off…Rae,

Still a work in progress!!

What Makes a Man?

This is dedicated to all the real men out here working hard, taking care of home, and who truly know how to love.


What Makes a Man?

Is it his hands?
His eyes
His lips
His shoulders

What Makes a Man?

Is it his brain?
His money
His attitude
His walk

What he thinks makes a man
and what I think makes a man don’t compare
A man keeps it real with me at all times
Even when it hurts
Because he knows the truth will set us free

A man does not just look at me and think sex
He thinks beauty
And when we make love
He seeks to please me

A man takes care of me and his children
He almost never comes first
This is what makes a man

He is your brother, your father, your lover, and your friend
This is what makes a man

He works hard
He hustles
He protects
This is what he was born to do


--Destiny © 2009

My Drug...

Can I bottle you up…?
I told you I been high all day…just the thought of you…
I don’t wanna mess this up…if so, lesson learned…
So much I wanna say…so much I wanna be…but we gotta move slowly

Time always reveals truth
So what did you come to do?
Not to just ease my pain, but to heal…
It’s a journey…it’s been a long road…
And this is just the beginning

So let’s go to a different level…
What can I be for you?
What do you need from me?
I’m open…

To have love…one must be love…and love
Without limits…without restrictions…
Unconditionally…
Desperate…No…that’s not me…
Just made to love.

Right now, at this present moment…
I choose you…
I’m jonesin’…as they call it…
I love feelin’ this way…
I must be in love with love…

Let me learn how to love you,
And you do the same for me.
We’re in control…
You know what I’m feelin’, and I can’t fight it
Hooked on you…addicted to your energy within…
My temporary high…my drug…


--Destiny © 2009

When Your Ego Gets Bruised

What to do when your ego gets bruised?

Firstly, what does this mean? A bruised ago? It is the day you wake up and realize…you may not be “all that” or “he’s just not into you”. Funny right? But sort of true…I have had a few bruised ego moments…this is when I’m like…last time I checked in the mirror I was fine…thick, pretty in the face, smart…and so on and so forth…one of my wiser friends just recently assured me…it’s not you…it’s them or “him”. I’m like dang…what does a sister have to do these days to get some recognition and reciprocation for all of the hard work and love I put into these relationships? So what to do when the ego gets bruised:

1) Surround yourself with positive people, ie, girlfriends, guy friends, and family…they will always give you confidence…”saying it’s not you it’s them” or “such and such is stupid”.

2) Check yourself: look in the mirror…make sure you still qualify for being “all that”…if not…start a beauty/health regimen…hit the gym…by a new outfit…change your hair style/color…these things are only temporary but they help.

3) Randomly call, text, or email old lovers/friends of the opposite sex…this is encouraging sometimes…but be careful…do not go down a road that ended poorly…sometimes those ones from 5 to 10 yrs ago make you remember why y’all aren’t together and never will be…it’s like looking at where you came from…sometimes you can hook back up but…it may only be temporary.

4) Randomly call, text, or email someone you are not really interested in…the “new” guy you gave your contact info to…sometimes it helps, but then you may realize why you haven’t given him a chance…but it does stroke the ego.

5) Have sex…lol…okay, really be careful and selective with this one…if you are already emotionally distraught from the bruised ego or guy who kicked you to the curb, this is not always safe…especially if you really like the person who could be from the past #3 or present #4. (I don’t particularly encourage one night stands in this day and age…too dangerous…or if you are over the age of 21, ie out of college) Also, use caution when going back to a lover from 5 to 10 yrs or someone presently…in the heat of the moment people lose their minds…temporary insanity…want to go “raw”…not safe people…we all know this…fear of child out of wedlock should be the least of worries…

6) Get drunk! Again be careful…in your drunkenness…you are susceptible to poor decision-making…ie hooking up with past or present love interests that you really are not interested in…cussing out or calling the person who has bruised your ego…driving by such and such’s house…at this point…you have just become the crazy drunk woman…with no sense…

7) Okay…so this should have been first on the list…but pray…go to church…read your bible…once you figure out that the rest of that stuff you tried to do to make yourself feel better is only temporary…you will realize that the void can only be filled by God…it is my hope that filling the void with God and His Holy Spirit…will help to heal me (you) and prepare me (you) for what is to come…to try and be smarter in relationships…to avoid getting a bruised ego…how do you do this? Stay in faith…stay focused…weed out those being used by the enemy to kill, steal, and destroy…

I just don’t think that relationships and dating should be so difficult. Why do people lie? Why don’t people keep it real? Why does a good woman who will do anything for a man she loves…get drug through the mud and called “weak”? So what do I do to be strong? Show no emotion, and no feelings (like a man) When will he respect me? When I act as if I don’t care about him? The shit is crazy!! The truth is: a man has to choose a woman…now many times…when or if a woman chooses a man, it goes nowhere or only so far…what makes me mad is that when a man does chose a woman…the test begins…it’s like they test us to see how “strong” we are. We have to be a closed book…can’t tell them nothing or only a minimal amount of info regarding the past…it will always be used against us for him to decide…naw she ain’t it…they will use any little thing to disqualify a woman…once you have been cancelled out in his eyes…you might as well give it up…the ultimately sad part is that…if you fine…with a big booty…he will string you along…until you finally give up on him, he meets the “one” he’s been searching for, or you are acting too crazy!!

I’m tired of being “that chick”…drug through the mud…it can’t be all my fault…I can’t be this stupid…now I’m not ever going to switch sides…but I can see how a woman can become bitter…not ever give any man a chance…or just treat men like ATMs or whatever ya know…pay before you lay, that type of thing…or just give up dating or even date interracially…(another topic) because no matter the race some of those similarities still remain…

--Signing off for now

Much Luv,

“Dr. Rae”

* When all else fails, just write a blog about your ego getting bruised and get your online friends involved in the discussion…this is a good band-aid…LOL!!