Sunday, August 22, 2010

Interracial Dating, Cougar Life, and the Sexual Energy of 22 yr/o Men

Long title for an entry I know…It could probably be a book within itself. Initially, this was supposed to only be about interracial dating, but I had such an exhilarating weekend that I needed to include all topics. So here goes.

As the weekend comes to a close and I contain the spirit of Sexual Goddess “Blanche Devereaux”, you remember our Golden Girl, Rue McClanahan, as well as other sexy Cougars; Samantha from Sex and the City; Mariah Carey; Demi Moore; and “Ms. Berry Ms. Berry”, who we all know as Halle; I have to reflect upon my own Goddess energy which has recently created an influx of young male attraction. Lawd, I must be glowing or something!! LOL! Pure Self-Love in full effect and taking flight…the almost 30 vibe and loving it!!

As you know since May 1st I’ve shed at least 15 to 20lbs, which was the goal for my 30th Birthday on September 25th. Well weight loss brings with it an exuberant flow of confidence, which we all know is very attractive and sexy. I just didn’t know that dropping 20 would draw in sooooo many men. Whew! I’m overwhelmed! Oh and not just any men; 22 year old men! Mercy! I feel like “fresh meat” all over again only with some wisdom this time. I mean they are black (African-American); they are white (of European descent); heck they are even of mixed race descent (like I don’t know the ethnic background), which I believe we all have something in us if we were born and raised in the heart of what we now know as America.

All I know is that I’m feeling like “Rae the Cougar”, more so in theory not practice; for all you scholars. And for the non-scholars, it just means that the Youngins have caused me to really consider this whole Cougar thing, but I haven’t actually begun practicing the ideal. LOL! (just keeping it PC…politically correct) Let’s just say that the flirting with the idea has really been fun and entertaining. I honestly feel 22 again. (smile). One of my young white boys told me I was “vibrant”. (He actually has a very strong energy…whew I can still feel that…lol). I think they even forget that I’ll be 30 next month. Ha ha! It’s cool though. These young 20 something males have such a powerful energy. They just draw me in…lol…there is something to be said again about Soul connections. You can feel how they supersede the physical realm. The Soul is who we are outside of this body. We all look very different outside of this body than in this body. I’m sure we all look identical outside of this body…possibly. What does Spirit look like? Just think about that for a moment. The most racist person is obviously out of touch with what is and has happened on a Soul level. Hmm…makes you think…

We are all approaching a new level of consciousness as the world continually evolves…so it’s not a surprise that I can connect with the consciousness and energy of the 22 year old male (despite race), if he is an open-minded and free Spirit such as myself. I’m thinking that Spirit knows no age…I do know that love is blind so in turn love is ageless (so no more trying to figure out Ashton and Demi or Nick and Mariah). I’m learning that any situations that I’ve previously misjudged, I’m being confronted with; and I’m totally okay with the learning process. It feels good. And I just love new experiences and sharing them.
For so long, some Sistahs have been giving some Brothas such a difficult time about their choice to date outside of their race. I used to be one of those women. Angry, single, black woman; well not anymore. Some of my best friends and favorite people would not be alive if it were not for interracial dating, mating, and relating. As I began to release that hatred, I also began attracting my own interracial dating experiences. Sure there are a few cultural differences, but there is also so much to learn and share with each other. Now we all may have a preference for who we would like to marry and bring home to mom and dad. The truth here is that, whomever you prefer to bring home, is who you will bring home. That’s really all I have to say about that one. I have a long list of the characteristics of who I would like to bring home…all the way down to even a preference in race. However, I happen to enjoy the company of men and meeting even culturally different ones. I have not stepped foot outside of this country yet, but have been afforded the opportunity to meet and mingle with such diverse people. I feel blessed to have encountered these experiences; that some people may never have because of fear or any other personal barriers they may possess.

In honor of this post, check out a scene from one of my favorite movies, "A Bronx Tale". Ha, my family used to say that I looked like Jane back in the day. Oh and how I used to love me some "Tom Anstey" when I was a little girl, but only my grade school friends know about that love connection. Where is Tom today? lol!!

C, had just learned that you only get 3 "great ones"...Soulmates maybe? So I guess Jane was one of his great ones! :-)

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Your "Singledom" is Not a Curse! It's a Blessing!

It's starting to make sense to me now... one of the many reasons for the oversaturation of Single Sistas and Brothas (ages 26-34+). I believe that We are the last of a dying breed. Our singledom is not a curse. The World needs saving! And the youth! There's so much work to be done! Being married could hinder your work. Paul was on to something in 1 Corinth 7:25-28. Basically remain as you are, married or unmarried. Live to do God's Work! vs 25 "Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are". The "Cosby Ages" have ended. We can work to restore that; fighting against unseen forces, but it takes Man and Woman to truly be on board with one another.

In Love with Love (2010)

I am in love with love…

I don’t want to be…

I do but I’m so afraid…

Maybe this time, it will work

Are you here…

Should I write about you like the others

Why are you here?

Am I forcing you to be

Us to be…

Are you that reflection of me?

I am in love with you…

The idea of you…

The idea of us…

Could it really be

I feel like giving up on love


I want you…

Make this go away

If it’s not true

I’m not this open

I want you in every way

Not just physically

But mentally, spiritually and emotionally

How do we get there?

I think we’re almost there

Work with me…

Flow with me

I feel you

Connecting with me

Are you scared of this love thing?

Let’s see how far we can go…

Love, love, love

I am in love with love…

Monday, April 19, 2010

How to Be Happy Exactly Where You Are!

Just a lil Sumthin Sumthin... ;-)

How to Be Happy Exactly Where You Are in Life!

Each day is a new day! Learn from the mistakes or mishaps of yesterday. This is the way to keep moving forward in life and to cultivate a happy life; an inner contentment no matter where you are (geographically); regardless of your income level; or even marital status. Learn to be happy exactly where you are in life; and whatever you don’t like about your life or circumstances learn the best ways to go about changing them. Take baby steps because some things do not change over night. The best and most lasting changes take time and so much effort. Cultivate effort, change, and happiness each day. Do not beat yourself up about yesterday; or even failed relationships or even failed job situations. Move forward into tomorrow with a positive outlook and work to get the best out of each day. And some days, just take it easy and relax. You can be happy exactly where you are in life today!

Happiness really has to come from within. What makes you happy in life? You have to decide this for yourself. Can you still be happy on your worst day or when things don’t go your way? Sometimes, you just have a good day and other times you have bad days, but you have to choose happiness. Today was a good day for me. Why? Well, some things went my way. At times, things come along that feel like struggle, but when those things begin to resolve you can do nothing but be happy and filled with joy! We would like everyday to be like this, but the truth is sometimes life will test your endurance and ability to cultivate your happiness. For some people having a love life makes them happy, for others it is their children, and for others maybe it is their occupation. Maybe for some it is a combination of it all. Can a person truly have it all? I believe so, but I also believe that this takes some work. We have to decide what makes us happy, and what are we living for or doing in life to cultivate that euphoric state of happiness!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009



Wash Me
Cleanse Me
Purify Me
I am Renewed, Refreshed, Rejuvenated
Your Power Impacts Me

Fills Me
Heals Me
I Welcome You
Rain On Me!

A Sprinkle, A Mist, A Storm
I welcome you,
I hear you on my window
And at my door
I welcome you
And all you represent:


I welcome you

I accept your Purpose
And Will for my life

Rain on me…

As The Seasons Change, So Must We

Rae Luvs 2 Write- Special Autumn and My Birthday Edition!
As the Seasons Change, So Must We!

Happy Fall Everyone! And Happy Birthday to Me (Friday)! Today is the official first day of Autumn. Where I live, it has been looking and seeming like Fall for about a week now. Lots of rain…and gray skies…I was starting to think that it was Winter with all of the gray, but by the time I would get dressed and go outside it was still hot…and some days cool. Just getting us ready for change. At first, I was resistant. I must confess, I slept in (late) a few days because of the rain…I just couldn’t snap out of it or into it…I’ve been thinking…isn’t this what life is like sometimes? Different seasons in our lives?…sometimes changes occur rapidly. Other times, change is slow. Regardless of how we may feel about change, it is the only constant in our lives even when or if it doesn’t look or feel like it. As for this current season we are in, for farmers this is harvest time for corn, pumpkins, squash, beans, and wild rice, the chief Native American staples, all the things we love to eat during this time of year! So tell me, what are you harvesting in your life? A new season, no matter which season, is the beginning of some things and the ending of others. So what is new in your life? Sometimes you can’t see it yet because it is not quite time. For example, just because today is the first day of Fall doesn’t mean that all of the leaves will be a different color tomorrow. So whatever the seeds are that you have been sowing in your life, do not give up on them. Since we are in the harvest season, there is plenty of time for these things to sprout and grow into fruition. Embrace this new season of change!

Now how about your love life? Now you know I’m not going to leave you without commenting on love in this new harvest season. Are you having a love harvest? If not, again, keep watering those seeds. Here is a quick guide to love in any season; We’ll call it Rae’s Quick Seasonal Love Guide:

Fall = Fun, Football, Friends

Winter = Cozy, Cabin Fever, Cuddling

Spring = Flirty, Flowers

Summer = Playful, Pool Parties

Let me know what you think!! Or if you have suggestions for loving and finding love in any season (Particularly this one).

Speaking of Summer, now we must say goodbye. So here’s an Ode to Summer to help us welcome in the new season.

An Ode to Summer

By India Arie


Goodbye summer hate to see you go
I wasn't ready for autumn wind to blow
So lonely

We had a fine time holding hands in June
Warm in a sunshine watching love in bloom
Where are you now?

My heart is frozen in this place
waiting for another summer's day
to bring you back my way

Hello winter, watch the swirling snow
I didn’t have a blanket for the cold
So lonely now

My heart is frozen in this place
waiting for another summer's day
to bring you back my way

I'll be waiting under the poplar tree
anticipating when you'll come back to me
in the spring, in the spring yeah

Hello summer kiss from my old friend
been such a long time, tell me how you've been
so lonely now

My heart is frozen in this place
waiting for another summer's day
to bring you back my way

Goodbye summer hate to see you go

Also, check out the link below if you are interested in fun Autumn topics!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Digital Love

Has technology enhanced or complicated our love and dating relationships?

Now this is a topic I have been wanting to discuss for some time. When you hear the phrase, what do you automatically think? E-harmony? Facebook? Myspace? Online dating...Internet dating…the virtual hook-up…well whatever you think of, it’s all the same. Do you really think that people are “networking” on myspace and facebook? (Some are…either that or being nosy, trying to see what past lovers are up to and if he or she is married/in a relationship what have you) That’s just something you say when you don’t want to seem desperate for a date…”networking” yeah I’m making some assumptions here…lol Anyway, how is the digital environment affecting the dating scene? I will tell you my thoughts, and then let me know what you think.

I think online dating/mating is and can be fun. Yes, I’ve tried it! Lol “networking”. If you’ve never met the person before, it can be a lil scary, especially upon the first meeting. You don’t know what to expect, and you pray that the person is really who they say they are or the same person as the picture on their profile. Beware of people who try to “holla” who don’t post a pic at all. I don’t think anyone is that silly, but you never know. If you are meeting someone you met online for the first time in person, please bring a friend…and try not to just make it a “hook-up” unless that’s just what you are on (protect yourself).

Some of the benefits of the digital love world include e-mail, texting, instant messaging, and video/camera phones and web cams (I don’t have one of those), these amenities aid in keeping in touch especially for long distance relationships. Yes, we’ve come along way from the pen pal method. This works if you met the person out and about or online. The only disadvantage is that sometimes these methods can replace the need for “real” time or even just time on the phone. Believe you me, “there is nothing like the real thing baby” so the lil cute daily texts and e-mails are enough to sustain you while you’re at work or doing whatever it is that you do. When it’s all said and done though, these ways of communicating get you ready for the real time. Do you agree?

In reality, some relationships need not go any further than digital. Sometimes it’s just flirting…but when signals get crossed it can become hazardous…I mean you could really be feeling a person, but do you really know them if you’ve never really spent time with them or even talked to them on the phone? The digital world does help us with our busy schedules. Sometimes it’s just easier to drop a quick e-mail than actually spend time on the phone. This type of communication has turned me into a non-phone person. When it comes down to it, dating digitally or physically is just like this song my girl always sings “if your heart isn’t in it…” But it’s true…”where your treasure (time, money…emphasis mine) is, there also will your heart be” (Matt 6:21). So what are you making an investment in? Are you really just networking and having fun, or are you really trying to get to know someone? Or just making an online booty call? LOL! Regardless of your dating methods, the intentions of your heart will be revealed.