Just a little something for the ladies...I know that some of us have been through some tough times so here is just a little encouragement.
“Have high standards…and they will be there.”
In regard to dating…You never know what people have been through…my co-worker age 35 recently revealed to me that she was married twice before marrying her current Husband. Prior to me knowing this about her, I thought…wow…she has it all…married to a Professor…baby on the way…working on her Doctorate…You Go Girl…me looking through envious eyes…and especially on the days that I drank my haterade…
But now I’m thinking…you never know what people have been through…abuse…mean men…men focused more on themselves than you…the list is endless…My coworker said now she has no complaints…Hubby number 3 is “perfect”…I said well, “I pray for a Husband like that”. She said that she did. I told her that she is blessed…and that’s when she revealed the history of her failed relationships.
So I asked her for some advice and she simply said, “Have high standards…and they will be there.” I mean this simple sentence put some things into perspective for me…It just means don’t settle…stop doing all the bending…and thinking that something is wrong with you…No commitment…tell him to kick rocks!! LOL! But for real…maybe “he’s just not that into you”…
But someone else surely will come along…I mean…as long as you believe…and realize that you are too smart to deal with someone who treats you like you’re worthless…
Well, let me stop preaching to the choir…
Signing off…Rae,
Still a work in progress!!
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The interesting fact is that there are men who settle for women also. This "settling" issue is not gender specific, however I do understand where you are coming from. We have trouble being single and we think that single is spelled A-L-O-N-E without ever thinking that there may be a reason we're single. And it doesn't have to be negative. I didn't have a girlfriend for 5 years before I got married for exactly the same reason you wrote this post. I refused to settle.
ReplyDeleteThanks Dan!
ReplyDeleteWell, I am going to do a little babbling Dr. Rae. I think at some point in time, WE ALL SETTLE! Isn't the mere fact that you decided to be with one person for the rest of your life, indeed, "settling"? We give too much value to words and their meaning. Are you settling b/c you are a PhD. candidate, professor, CEO or manager and your significant other sweeps floors at McD'S? Are you settling if you are the "perfect size 8-10 and your partner is...oh let's say pleasantly plump? See I am learning that I am in charge of my destiny and no matter whom I choose, my life is what I make it. I think the most important factor in choosing a partner is LOVE! Love of God, love of one’s self, love of family and love of life. Everything else can fall into place with hard work. In this instant gratification society we live in, no one wants to put in hard work for much of anything, except for money. I urge you young, educated, professionals to start looking within. How can you ever say that you settled for being with a less than ideal mate? Doesn't that go against your entire principal? I'm just being extra! Dr. Rae this is a very touchy subject for me, because it pisses me off to see so many beautiful, educated, sisters unhappy, single or in dysfunctional relationships because of societal pressures. Stop looking at it as "settling" and start looking at it as "choosing." You can never settle if you choose. Let's get back to loving making babies and boosting the population like we are supposed to do. Somehow, somewhere, we got off track and lost focus on the meaning of life.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the great input elrobinson!! I think what matters most is that the person that you're with is good to you, loves you, and makes you happy...and someone who really teaches you how to love...even when they are unlovable...I just say don't be a doormat at least not knowingly...I've been there before...and I know that some guys have been doormats too. And for some of us it just takes a little longer than others to find/attract that person for us based on what can be going on inside and once we are happy with self...everything falls into place...we will settle for and with the right person for us regardless of their occupation!
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