I’m feelin’ myself…
Like never before…
This isn’t arrogance
Or false confidence
It’s Love…
Real Love…
I’ve waited my whole life for this moment
A Rebirth
I’m lovin’ everything about me too
Every curve, every blemish
And every kink
So cheers to all the jerks who didn’t want me
And thanks to the fools who let me go
I love me and that’s all that matters
30 is not the new 20,
Baby it’s better!!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Damn...
Damn…the chemistry is amazin’…
I know you feel it too…
You want me…just like I want you
But I’m not talkin’ bout sex…
I mean yeah that’s half of it…
But the other half is just into you...
Don’t do me like this…make me feel this love…
‘Cause what you got, is hard to come by…
Everybody wants some of that…
I got it too…you best believe it
Indescribable…
Words ain’t enough…
It’s a feelin’…
You know what I’m talkin’ bout?
What we got, makes the sex even better…
Let’s take it slow…relax our minds
Build up anticipation…cause you know I’m waitin’
I want you…for real…you know what I’m on…
Some real shit
Let me make love to you…every part of you
Your body…your soul…your mind…your heart
It’s gettin’ deep before we even start…
Tell me…are you scared?
‘Cause I am…
I never wanna be hurt again…
I know you feel it too…
You want me…just like I want you
But I’m not talkin’ bout sex…
I mean yeah that’s half of it…
But the other half is just into you...
Don’t do me like this…make me feel this love…
‘Cause what you got, is hard to come by…
Everybody wants some of that…
I got it too…you best believe it
Indescribable…
Words ain’t enough…
It’s a feelin’…
You know what I’m talkin’ bout?
What we got, makes the sex even better…
Let’s take it slow…relax our minds
Build up anticipation…cause you know I’m waitin’
I want you…for real…you know what I’m on…
Some real shit
Let me make love to you…every part of you
Your body…your soul…your mind…your heart
It’s gettin’ deep before we even start…
Tell me…are you scared?
‘Cause I am…
I never wanna be hurt again…
Dating as We Age
I was just thinking…is dating getting better as I age? I say yes! Sure I’ve had those days of reflection, and I think that I should have been married or had children by now, but there comes a time when most individuals unmarried especially reach a point or let’s call it a plateau. There is a point where a person feels like “whatever happens happens”. Not to thwart your heart’s desires or plans, but this type of attitude gives a person more patience while waiting for their Mr. or Mrs. Right. As I approach my 29th birthday, (so old right? just kidding) I now finally understand what everyone says when they say, oh just wait and/or just keep working on yourself, just keep on loving yourself. Hey, it finally all makes sense. All those horrible clichés no one wants to hear when they are in search of their Mr. Right. You know I’ve heard it all. Focus on yourself, find out what you like…blah, blah, blah. The reality is these sayings are so true. I’ve even heard, how can you truly love someone else if you don’t completely love yourself. I have to admit that one never really made sense to me because don’t we all have the ability to love our selves and others? But what that means is like on an airplane. They tell you to make sure you have your oxygen mask on first before you start trying to help those surrounding you. Okay, I love that analogy. How can I love on someone else if I dislike everything about me? And when you really love yourself, others can’t help but see what you see or feel the vibrations you give off. And if they don’t see what you see then you know what I always say “kick rocks” chump!! Lol
But yes, my outlook on dating is definitely becoming better as I age and as I continue to work on and love me. Like fine wine baby. How long does it take to get to this point? It is different for everyone. Not to be egotistical, but just to really develop an attitude of accepting nothing but the best from the people in your life or whom you date. It may take some people to have children before they reach this point or to encounter divorce. Some get this while they’re still young others long after 30 and maybe some never get it. But it is a beautiful feeling to possess; just being happy with yourself and still expecting to attract a wonderful mate. When you and your potential mate are both at this point in life, you can do nothing but make beautiful music together. You both realize your own worth, each others’ worth, and that you both deserve the best out of life and from each other. There is nothing like having this mutual respect and the union will be blessed.
Furthermore, on this plateau, some have discovered that being married is not apart of their life’s purpose. They have become very content with themselves or their work. They may realize that they don’t want to have children or be married, but possibly still date people or just one person. There is nothing wrong with this because married life isn’t for everyone. The key is to make sure that you are happy with your life whatever path you choose.
But yes, my outlook on dating is definitely becoming better as I age and as I continue to work on and love me. Like fine wine baby. How long does it take to get to this point? It is different for everyone. Not to be egotistical, but just to really develop an attitude of accepting nothing but the best from the people in your life or whom you date. It may take some people to have children before they reach this point or to encounter divorce. Some get this while they’re still young others long after 30 and maybe some never get it. But it is a beautiful feeling to possess; just being happy with yourself and still expecting to attract a wonderful mate. When you and your potential mate are both at this point in life, you can do nothing but make beautiful music together. You both realize your own worth, each others’ worth, and that you both deserve the best out of life and from each other. There is nothing like having this mutual respect and the union will be blessed.
Furthermore, on this plateau, some have discovered that being married is not apart of their life’s purpose. They have become very content with themselves or their work. They may realize that they don’t want to have children or be married, but possibly still date people or just one person. There is nothing wrong with this because married life isn’t for everyone. The key is to make sure that you are happy with your life whatever path you choose.
Friday, July 17, 2009
The Bachelor
I’ve been away for a minute, but now I’m back. I’ve been incurring some inner changes and thought processes, actually taking those chill pills right now. So you know I have to get my VH1 “reality” dating show time in and currently the Bachelor is airing. I haven’t been keeping up with it so I caught it last night and there were six women left. By the end of the episode, he could only give away four roses. Poor guy, he was having a difficult time deciding between six beautiful, intelligent, and hardworking women. So after watching this I’m thinking isn’t this what real life dating feels like sometimes, especially when you’re single? Many women all vying for the same guy; or vice versa as in the case of the Bachelorette. At the end of the show I had to reflect. I felt bad for one of the older women, Heather age 30. She was so into this guy, I think his name is Aaron. I mean she was pouring her heart out on national TV for a guy I’m sure she hasn’t known that long. Not that there’s something wrong with having those feelings for someone you haven’t been dating that long, but she was going all out on TV! You should have seen the expressions that Aaron was making when Heather was trying to get up under him in the Jacuzzi. She was kissing all on him and the guy was looking so disgusted! LOL! Poor girl!
During the rose ceremony, she was looking so depressed like she knew she was going to get cut. Aaron even said in his one on one with the camera that he was not attracted to her. Personally, I thought she was the prettiest lady there well one of the prettier ones, but what does this tell you? Looks are not everything. Guys can sense when you don’t have it together in the head. There is a vibe that is given off. Confidence is way more attractive. I mean even for guys. Women don’t really seem to be as attracted to the clingy man. I think we all want and need a little clinginess at times, but not to the point of feeling smothered. Heather was ready to get married yesterday, and Aaron just wasn’t feeling her and he couldn’t force himself to. I felt badly for her because I know how she felt. At the end of the show she was really crying her eyes out and saying “what’s wrong with me?” Aaron knew that Heather thought something was wrong with herself. I say, her problem was thinking that something was wrong with herself. It is better for people to understand that everyone is not going to like you, and you can’t force someone to like you. Sure you can try to manipulate someone, but in the end your true colors and theirs will always surface. The key is to be confident and to keep believing that the right person for you is out there. If you don’t believe it, then it will never happen. You have to release happy thoughts into the universe while continuously working on yourself and keeping your image and your Spirit in an attractive manner. So ladies, before you find yourself having a “Heather” moment at 30 or anytime, just remember, “I’m okay” and, hey if a man doesn’t pick me then so be it.
I did realize that Aaron was way more attracted to the youngest woman, Brooke age 22 and the meanest woman, Helene I think her name was she may have been 27. I include this to say, I’m realizing that men of all ages enjoy and appreciate some innocence about a woman and possibly a mean streak, but not too mean. Heather thought that Brooke being so young was holding her back, but actually Brooke’s youthful way seemed to make Aaron light up a little. So be yourself, but realize that a youthful glow will give you brownie points. It’s more about what’s going on inside of you rather than how you actually look or wear your hair…again, your Spirit, it will shine through…believe it or not.
As for the mean girl, she seemed to sort of get on his nerves. She was a little negative, which the other lady Hayley, I think that’s her name, who was cut thought was going to get Helene cut. Actually, Helene had the advantage because she forced Aaron to keep it real with the women and himself. His goal was to not lead anyone on. Helene challenged him and kept saying that she is not going to work too hard or just really put herself out there with her feelings if there is no guarantee. Her attitude allowed him to check his true feelings about all of the women and realize how “serious” the dating game was becoming.
I say that real life dating is similar to this show because you can be casually dating two or more people and like and appreciate different aspects about each person. In college, once a guy told me that dating too many women was becoming too expensive. You don’t have to spend money to have creative fun dates. You can go to free events, museums, parks and things like that. At the end of the day the Bachelor or Bachelorette, has to decide which person is for them and just hope that the feelings are mutual. I would hope that people would not just date in vain, but also that is something that can be established early on. It is good to know what you want from someone or what that person ultimately wants from you just to keep the lines clear. Some of my friends (guys and ladies) have said, and we’re all around the same age, that they don’t casually date. Whoever they are involved with is someone they can see themselves marrying. This makes sense to me, but I would want to make sure that the person I’m dating feels the same way. Just like having those check points. The downside is that some people will never fully disclose how they really feel out of fear of losing you especially if they don’t see themselves marrying you. Actually, that is unfair. I would say pray to discern what’s really going on so that there are no surprises. Often times, we intrinsically know where a relationship is heading after the first couple of dates. Just protect your heart and feelings, but not to the point of showing no emotion although that’s how some people operate. Just my thoughts. That’s all for the day! Thanks for tuning in!
During the rose ceremony, she was looking so depressed like she knew she was going to get cut. Aaron even said in his one on one with the camera that he was not attracted to her. Personally, I thought she was the prettiest lady there well one of the prettier ones, but what does this tell you? Looks are not everything. Guys can sense when you don’t have it together in the head. There is a vibe that is given off. Confidence is way more attractive. I mean even for guys. Women don’t really seem to be as attracted to the clingy man. I think we all want and need a little clinginess at times, but not to the point of feeling smothered. Heather was ready to get married yesterday, and Aaron just wasn’t feeling her and he couldn’t force himself to. I felt badly for her because I know how she felt. At the end of the show she was really crying her eyes out and saying “what’s wrong with me?” Aaron knew that Heather thought something was wrong with herself. I say, her problem was thinking that something was wrong with herself. It is better for people to understand that everyone is not going to like you, and you can’t force someone to like you. Sure you can try to manipulate someone, but in the end your true colors and theirs will always surface. The key is to be confident and to keep believing that the right person for you is out there. If you don’t believe it, then it will never happen. You have to release happy thoughts into the universe while continuously working on yourself and keeping your image and your Spirit in an attractive manner. So ladies, before you find yourself having a “Heather” moment at 30 or anytime, just remember, “I’m okay” and, hey if a man doesn’t pick me then so be it.
I did realize that Aaron was way more attracted to the youngest woman, Brooke age 22 and the meanest woman, Helene I think her name was she may have been 27. I include this to say, I’m realizing that men of all ages enjoy and appreciate some innocence about a woman and possibly a mean streak, but not too mean. Heather thought that Brooke being so young was holding her back, but actually Brooke’s youthful way seemed to make Aaron light up a little. So be yourself, but realize that a youthful glow will give you brownie points. It’s more about what’s going on inside of you rather than how you actually look or wear your hair…again, your Spirit, it will shine through…believe it or not.
As for the mean girl, she seemed to sort of get on his nerves. She was a little negative, which the other lady Hayley, I think that’s her name, who was cut thought was going to get Helene cut. Actually, Helene had the advantage because she forced Aaron to keep it real with the women and himself. His goal was to not lead anyone on. Helene challenged him and kept saying that she is not going to work too hard or just really put herself out there with her feelings if there is no guarantee. Her attitude allowed him to check his true feelings about all of the women and realize how “serious” the dating game was becoming.
I say that real life dating is similar to this show because you can be casually dating two or more people and like and appreciate different aspects about each person. In college, once a guy told me that dating too many women was becoming too expensive. You don’t have to spend money to have creative fun dates. You can go to free events, museums, parks and things like that. At the end of the day the Bachelor or Bachelorette, has to decide which person is for them and just hope that the feelings are mutual. I would hope that people would not just date in vain, but also that is something that can be established early on. It is good to know what you want from someone or what that person ultimately wants from you just to keep the lines clear. Some of my friends (guys and ladies) have said, and we’re all around the same age, that they don’t casually date. Whoever they are involved with is someone they can see themselves marrying. This makes sense to me, but I would want to make sure that the person I’m dating feels the same way. Just like having those check points. The downside is that some people will never fully disclose how they really feel out of fear of losing you especially if they don’t see themselves marrying you. Actually, that is unfair. I would say pray to discern what’s really going on so that there are no surprises. Often times, we intrinsically know where a relationship is heading after the first couple of dates. Just protect your heart and feelings, but not to the point of showing no emotion although that’s how some people operate. Just my thoughts. That’s all for the day! Thanks for tuning in!
Monday, June 22, 2009
The Best Kiss Ever...
I can’t even remember feelin’ this way about anyone…since I’ve met you I don’t want anyone else…you must have put a spell on me…I can’t stand not being around you…but I think I’ve fallen in love with you…your Spirit…and your Soul…when you kiss me…I swear I melt…your lips taste so good to me…I wanna be able to kiss you forever…is that selfish of me? I think that you were made for me…I hope this is not an illusion…if so, I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts…why is that when I think about you I get so emotional? Tears come to my eyes…I can’t explain it…but I know that when I’m with you…and when I think about you…something comes over me…something Supernatural…like I’ve made contact with another world…if this is love…this is new for me…I’m drunk…and high off of you…is this feeling enough to sustain the distance…the good and the bad? I hope you feel it too…I pray for you…I pray all your dreams and desires come to pass in your life…that I’m someone you could share your life with…you think you could grow old with me? Have we already done so in another life? I’m so glad we found each other…kiss me…kiss me…and never stop…I’m yours forever…
Developing a Thick Skin
I swear me having a BIG EGO is not an overstatement!! I have to laugh at myself sometimes…LOL ;-) You ever just feel like “I’m the SHIT” so why isn’t such and such giving me the play. The truth here is that the such and such I speak of is someone who I never should have given the “play”. In an effort to continue whatever we started, I have called and texted. I was successful in my pursuit too…but let’s just say that when the night ended, baby I was going home alone…hilarious to me…but it’s okay…my Ego, let’s call her “Latrece” just for fun and laughs…was hurt, devastated and shocked…not to mention no real companionship in three weeks (if you know what I mean)…almost four now…SMH…by choice of course…you know when you choose…you choose because the options are always present…I think…that’s Latrece talking again.
I’m going to make this one short today…so over the weekend I learned “when it’s over it’s over”. It doesn’t matter what you do…if someone is done fooling with you, they are just done…I now understand why Jazmine Sullivan busted the windows out the fellas car…I know how that feels to want to do just that…but watch out for Karma ladies…Have you ever found yourself cussing out someone on his voice mail or sending threatening text messages? With no return calls or texts? OMG…that was me…at the end of the day when you go home and lay it down…turn off your phone and wake up to a new day you realize okay…I’m cool now…I feel better now…everything for a reason. Makes me wanna delete this brother from my phone…I swear…
At the end of the day though…a host of rejection experiences have allowed me to develop a very thick skin…those who know me best know my sensitivities…but I’ve been through so much now in dating relationships that I’m like…I’m strong enough to withstand almost anything…anything that anyone tries to do to me…shoot has already been done…WOW! I just look back over my young adult life and just don’t even know or understand how I made it through…and how I’m still here…still hoping and believing that LOVE is still possible for me!! Let me tell you though…when God is the SOURCE anything is possible…I’m DIVINELY healed as well! Isn’t it amazing how God can just allow you to go through the fire and come out shining like pure gold?! So I thank and praise Him for that…and am learning to not sweat the small stuff…let my Ego go and know that what’s best for me is on the way…so all the JERKS have to be removed…Mr. Right Now can kick rocks!! LOL!
Blessings to you all!!
--Rae
I’m going to make this one short today…so over the weekend I learned “when it’s over it’s over”. It doesn’t matter what you do…if someone is done fooling with you, they are just done…I now understand why Jazmine Sullivan busted the windows out the fellas car…I know how that feels to want to do just that…but watch out for Karma ladies…Have you ever found yourself cussing out someone on his voice mail or sending threatening text messages? With no return calls or texts? OMG…that was me…at the end of the day when you go home and lay it down…turn off your phone and wake up to a new day you realize okay…I’m cool now…I feel better now…everything for a reason. Makes me wanna delete this brother from my phone…I swear…
At the end of the day though…a host of rejection experiences have allowed me to develop a very thick skin…those who know me best know my sensitivities…but I’ve been through so much now in dating relationships that I’m like…I’m strong enough to withstand almost anything…anything that anyone tries to do to me…shoot has already been done…WOW! I just look back over my young adult life and just don’t even know or understand how I made it through…and how I’m still here…still hoping and believing that LOVE is still possible for me!! Let me tell you though…when God is the SOURCE anything is possible…I’m DIVINELY healed as well! Isn’t it amazing how God can just allow you to go through the fire and come out shining like pure gold?! So I thank and praise Him for that…and am learning to not sweat the small stuff…let my Ego go and know that what’s best for me is on the way…so all the JERKS have to be removed…Mr. Right Now can kick rocks!! LOL!
Blessings to you all!!
--Rae
Monday, June 15, 2009
It Hurts...
Call me emotional, but it hurts when…
You don’t call when you say you will…
When you don’t return my phone calls…
When you don’t text me back…
When you don’t make it your business to see me…
It just hurts a little…just a little sting because what I want and what’s reality doesn’t line up.
It hurts to know that I made some sacrifices all because I wanted to see you and be with you…
But you were too “busy” to notice or care…
It just hurts a little…just a little sting…
When I think about you all day everyday and even see you in my dreams…and still no sign of you.
It hurts because I choose not to make a fool of myself and keep trying to contact you…
It just hurts that I can’t even talk to you when I want to…
It hurts because I still don’t know you and you still don’t know me, yet I gave myself to you…
My body, my mind, my time…and my heart…I felt so connected…started to get that Soul Mate feeling…but what did you feel?
I don’t know…maybe you thought I was a “joke” or joking…
So it just hurts a little…just a little sting…
You don’t call when you say you will…
When you don’t return my phone calls…
When you don’t text me back…
When you don’t make it your business to see me…
It just hurts a little…just a little sting because what I want and what’s reality doesn’t line up.
It hurts to know that I made some sacrifices all because I wanted to see you and be with you…
But you were too “busy” to notice or care…
It just hurts a little…just a little sting…
When I think about you all day everyday and even see you in my dreams…and still no sign of you.
It hurts because I choose not to make a fool of myself and keep trying to contact you…
It just hurts that I can’t even talk to you when I want to…
It hurts because I still don’t know you and you still don’t know me, yet I gave myself to you…
My body, my mind, my time…and my heart…I felt so connected…started to get that Soul Mate feeling…but what did you feel?
I don’t know…maybe you thought I was a “joke” or joking…
So it just hurts a little…just a little sting…
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